Oy

Have you ever made a conscious, well thought out decision and then spent the entirety of the execution of said decision resenting the hell out of everything and everyone involved in it, not least of all yourself? (not unlike how you started to read that last sentence thinking it might be a cogent thought and lost 2 minutes of your life deciphering what it was actually saying...)

I am not travelling this Christmas. I have a fairly hard and fast rule that I don't travel more than 30-45 minutes away on Thanksgiving, the most hellish travel holiday on earth, but this is newish. There have been gigs that have prevented it, etc., but this was a choice.

I love my family madly, and I prefer a slightly less stressful, emotionally packed setting for my bonding. I just can't take all of us in the same house for 4 days straight. I become a raging bitch. I'm single, I have a lot of alone time and am used to making the majority of my decisions based on what is best for moi. I miss seeing the kiddos, and I know everyone has time off...but I can't do it. I think it might be a lot different if I had a boyfriend with me who could help diffuse my bs...getting laid is like Valium...from what I remember. I have a friend whose hairdresser gave her some Clonopin to take home with her...'nuff said.

So, I'm working at the spa and picking up shifts at the yoga studio. I have SIX massages back to back tomorrow starting at 8 am. I'm sorry? I'm 100% irritated at the universe for answering my prayer for financial abundance, how dare You?! I'm also working with people I never work with and who drive me crazy. I'm currently tapped in the office with the manager who talks non-stop about how hard his life is. Seriously, just a low-volume monologue, always. Awesome.

I also realized last night at about midnight that I hadn't picked up my keys for the yoga studio and was screwed. I got about 2 hours of sleep in between trying to chill and freaking out before I had to get up to be at work at 8.

Sorry this isn't one of my more light and airy posts. I'll get over myself soon. Sending you lots of love and joy (and patience, and vodka) this time with your loved ones.