Seriously? The effing Bachelor?! Really? This man makes out with numerous women on camera and soulfully and talks about how “special” each one is between shots of him mackin’ on these chicks. He also tells each of them how amazing they are and tenderly kisses each one while holding their face in his manly hands. How is this even happening? Granted, each of the girls (that’s a choice) is waxing on how much they’re falling in love with them, blah, blah. Ew! THEN he sleeps with each one of them and each of them knows he has. GROSS.
How can I not be thinking, well, we know who gave the worst bj, after he keeps 2 of the 3 after sleeping with them all? Gahblegh!
Sound byte from the last night’s episode: “I don’t know that you should have to work that hard to find true love.” Really, Brad? Really? Is it supposed to be easy? What on earth must I be doing wrong?
Bret Michaels, the blue eyeliner wearing, hot, lead singer of Poison (the ‘80s band) did a reality show where he was looking for a woman. When it was down to 2 women, Skanky McSkankerson said to cute, hip tat chick “just remember where his mouth was all last night.” Ha! No conceits there, beATCH! Um, guess which is which…
Of course, the fact that I’m getting teary about being single while watching this stuff and drinking a glass of chardonnay is nothing to be alarmed about. Single, white cliché? Your table’s ready.
A-men, sistah! The sadder thing - I'm sitting here watching the Bachelor right now because I gave in and tivo'd it after swearing I wasn't going to get into it this season! What the hell??
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious. My new favorite word is Gahblegh! I did catch a few minutes of The Bachelor last night...what?! it's monday! i wasn't feeling well! i was grossed out by the hyper sincerity layer on the "do them all one after the other" part.
ReplyDeleteYep, this is me judging you for watching bad tv! Puh-lease.
ReplyDelete